The Rich Gent’s Guide to Shopping in Portland, OR.
I moved to Portland a little over four years ago and I’ve loved every minute of it. I try to consume everything. Being from the South (Bama), it’s a lot different from what I’ve grown up with. I remember as a kid trying to find certain clothing items and they were no where to be found. But now, there’s endless shopping and so I’d like to give you a little taste of what Portland has to offer.
This shopping guide is like one of those pick your own adventure games. Seriously, because I know that some gents who read this blog could buy me another Lambo and not think twice, but some gents couldn’t buy the gas for it. Poor gents, consider this a free ride. Rich gents, consider this a free consultation.
There are a few caveats to this guide. I’m focusing on smaller retailers because anyone can do a search for J.Crew 97210 with the Google. Am I right?
Rich gents, keep reading. Poor gents, your guide is here.
photo credit: Virtual Gourmet
First you need to get some grub before this big shopping trip. You’ve been working out, so you can handle a little fat. Since you’ve arrived on the weekend, let’s stop by 23 Hoyt and grab some brunch. The huevos rancheros are great. And you have to grab a cup of Stumptown coffee because it’s, well, one of the best. I just realized that I haven’t reviewed any Stumptown coffee on the blog—I need to get on that. If you didn’t already know, I stay up extremely late after work writing blog posts like these and I drink my fair share of coffee. You can read some of my reviews here.
photo credit: ACL
Now that you’ve stained your brilliantly tailored kit from those huevos rancheros, you need some new clothes. Let me get the door for you. Beep Beep. One sec, the doors on my Benz SLS AMG are kinda slow. You got nothin’ but time, so just settle down. We’re going to Marios. It’s a place that packs all your favorites—they been had Polo. Now they’ve moved on to Dolce & Gabbana, Zegna, Kiton, Margiela, Paul Smith and many more lux brands.
photo credit: Jen McCabe
After you run up that black Visa a couple clicks, we’ll walk over to John Helmer so you can order a pair of Aldens and maybe a hat. I’m not really a hat guy, but I’m almost certain that the mental asylum has come lookin’ for John because his hat game is so crazy. Is that a Panerai that you’re wearing? Oh, a watch guy, eh. Let’s walk down to Watchworks, you’re gonna love their selection. Actually, let’s hop on the streetcar and ride there.
photo credit: trustella
Yeah, that new Rolex is slick. Your wife will understand. Just tell her it’s an investment. Like that money you sunk in the noodles last week at the trade desk. Ding ding. It’s lunch time, we’re going over to Everett St. Bistro and we’re gonna eat some cheese and drink a cocktail or two. I’m also getting a cod sandwich on your tab. You didn’t think this tour was free, did yah?
photo credit: Portland Neighborhood
Since we’re close, let’s stop into Finn. Alright, now we’re getting out of the Pearl district and we’re going up Glisan to Estes. I just got word that they’re packin’ Holland & Sherry fabrics. That’ll be perfect for a new Fall sport coat. You can also get a haircut and a shot of bourbon there. That third cocktail left me a bit tipsy, so I’ll pass.
photo credit: Local 35
Let me call Jeeves real quick and get him to come down here and pick up the Benz. He’ll be happy to drive us over to the east side to visit Winn Perry. You have to check out the Quoddy, Olch ties and cufflink selection at Winn Perry. Afterwards we’ll head over to Hawthorne St. to check out the A.P.C jean selection at Local35.
photo credit: Seuber stock
I know you’re tired of shopping so let’s go take a load off and get some dinner. I know you get GQ and since you didn’t get any cod at lunch time, you have to try the cod at Bamboo Sushi. Alan Richman loved it. I’ve had it, it’s really good. After dinner we’re going to get some drinks at Departures and then I forget the rest.
